Battle Creek, MI – If Apple Jacks cereal manufacturer Kellogg’s has its way, soon more children will find themselves urinating on their product.
For well over half a century parents have been turning to General Mills’ Cheerios as target practice for their potty training toddlers, but that could be coming to an end if Kellogg’s Marketing Director Susan Thornton has her way.
“Kellogg’s is very excited about the opportunities that the potty training market provides for Apple Jacks. As a parent of twin boys I can honestly tell you that my children prefer to urinate on Apple Jacks over any other product,” Thornton said.
“We tried Cheerios for two months but my boys were just not interested. Then one day we ran out and replaced them with Apple Jacks and it was a miracle! Both boys were potty trained in less than an hour. Not only were they more colorful, but they stayed intact much longer.”
Kellogg’s has invested nearly two million dollar into an innovative advertising campaign designed to get more parents and toddlers interested in Apple Jacks as target practice for potty training. Their new slogan; “Applejacks, great in either bowl!” will debut in an upcoming commercial featuring a dancing cereal and toilet bowl. The redesigned cover of the cereal box will show an apple and cinnamon stick fused together in a bowl with a twirling stream of milk and urine pouring from above.
How are parents reacting to the campaign so far? Shirley Watkins, mother of four, is not convinced it’s a good idea. “We used Cheerios with our boys growing up because they tasted like crap. Why would anyone want to pee on Apple Jacks? If we have Apple Jacks in the house we’re going to eat them.”
Steve Wilson, Marketing Director for General Mills, is not worried about the competition. “Children have grown up peeing on our cereal and that is something we are very proud of here at General Mills. I peed on them, my son peed on them and hopefully some day, his sons will pee on them.”
Wilson went on to say, “If Kellogg’s thinks they are breaking into the potty training market, their pissing in the wind. Cheerios is the far superior product with its bland flavor and appearance.”
If Kellogg’s is going to win this battle of the bowl, than they have a long road ahead of them. In a recent study done by Parent’s Magazine, Cheerios was by far the choice of potty training youngsters with seventy-eight percent of the market. Honey Nut Cheerios was second with six percent. When asked, sixty-two percent of children ages 3-6 did not even recognize Cheerios as a product for human consumption.
It is estimated that six tons of Cheerios are flushed each year.